


The Man in the Mirror

by RationalNumber



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Drama, Friendship, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27358975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RationalNumber/pseuds/RationalNumber
Summary: As Kuroo hits the prime of his youth, he comes to terms with the ghost of his past, making realizations, and opening up old wounds he would rather forget.
Kudos: 10
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	The Man in the Mirror

_“You can’t leave us! We have a kid to raise!” Kuroo’s mom shrieked! Her agonizing scream piercing through young Kuroo’s bedroom door, making him flinch and scoot closer to the wall._

_“They’re fighting again…” He says as he picked up the bolster pillow to wrap around his head, his futile attempt of trying to shut out the screams from outside._

_The sounds of pots clanging and of glassware shattering made Kuroo shut his already closed eyelids tighter, wishing once more to anyone out there to take him away from this house people would say was his home._

_But Kuroo, as young as he was, knew that the place he lived in wasn’t his home, and the people he lived with had stopped being his family from the first time they made him bleed._

_Silence._

_Kuroo’s heartbeat picked up a few more paces, completely aware of what was about to come._

_Footsteps._

_“No…” Kuroo whimpered, tears already flowing from his cheeks, the feeling of fear making his breath erratic._

_The door slammed open and his mother’s bruised figure stood on the doorway, a worn-out wooden stick on her hand._

_\--_

“NO!” Kuroo gasped, waking up to a start, his world a blur from sitting up too quickly.

He placed both hands over his eyes as he took deep breaths to calm himself down.

It had nearly been ten years since he left his parents to live on his own, and it had been over twenty years since the fighting in their house had stopped.

Yet he still hears the screams every single night.

The fight was far over, yet it continued in his mind.

He reached for the bottle of prescription pills he got after his doctor had diagnosed him of clinical depression and anxiety. That also, was ten years ago.

But still, here he was. Still taking medications, hoping it would stop his intrusive thoughts from getting in his way of living.

He pushed the sheets aside as he rose from the bed and walked to the bathroom, passing by a suit hung neatly on the opened closet. He ran his hand on the velvety sleeves making him remember of what today was.

Kenma Kozume, his best friend for life was now about to be married to Hinata Shoyo, one of their competitors back from their high-school volleyball matches.

A bittersweet smile forms in his lips as thoughts of losing one of his pillars of strengths, if not his strongest was about to leave him. “Guess I have to let you go today, huh bud?” 

Cold water runs across Kuroo’s body, each droplet taking on an unique course, but each would have to run across one of Kuroo’s many scars, another memento from the woman who birthed him and gave him the miserable life that he had, as Kuroo described it.

People said that kids were born either because the parents loved each other, or we’re just bored and made a mistake. Kuroo was a special case. His parents decided to have him to save their failing marriage. Even in conception, Kuroo already had a responsibility.

_“Mom, why did dad leave us?” young Kuroo asks in between sobs, his small hands covering the fresh wound his mom had recently given him with a band-aid. His mom sat across him, bottle of liquor in her hands, hair all over the place, bruises in her body from the abuse she suffered from the hands of her husband who had just left for good._

_Kuroo loved his mother, even when he knew that she didn’t love him. It was one of the things kids do, love unconditionally. It was Kuroo’s greatest strength and weakness at the same time. For every act of love he showed his mother, she repaid with a scar somewhere on Kuroo’s small body._

_Her mother downs the alcohol and slams the bottle, making Kuroo flinch. “Because you weren’t enough.”_

Kuroo had his eyes casted downward, on the flowing water as he brushed his teeth, deliberately avoiding the mirror that was right in front of him. He would do this every time he had a bath, not wanting to see the man that he was in the mirror.

Occasionally, he would break his own rules and look, and today was one of those occasions. He looked up to see not his own reflection, but him of twenty years ago, back when he was still eight.

“Hey.” He greeted the little kid, fully knowing it was one of the tricks his mind was making.

“Hello.” The kid replies, a smile on his face.

“What do you want to say this time?” Kuroo asks, his voice shaking.

“I wish I wasn’t born.” The kid replies, his eyes misty from the tears that were about to fall.

His breath hitches as he wipes the freshly fallen tears on his cheeks. “Same, kid. I feel like the world would be a better place without us you know?”

“Does Kenma really have to go?” The kid asks, fumbling with his fingers nervously, “I’m gonna miss Kenma. He’s the only one we have.”

Kuroo’s body jerked as he sobbed uncontrollably, the weight of his thoughts slamming on him like a thousand bricks.

The knocking on the door took Kuroo by surprise, and just like magic, the kid on the mirror was gone, leaving his own reflection of him crying.

“Kuroo? Are you okay?” Kenma’s voice asks from outside.

“Just a sec, Kenma! I’m just gonna get dressed.” Kuroo hurriedly ran outside, nearly tripping on the wet floor. He wore a fresh pair of underwear and wore a bath robe as he made his way on the door.

Kenma looked surprise on his best friend’s current state, immediately noticing his swelled-up lids, and the flush in his nose.

“You’ve been crying again.” He said as he made his way inside, his white suit glowing as it absorbed the sunlight shining through the windows. “May I know why?” He asks, taking a seat on one of the kitchen stools.

“It’s nothing.” Kuroo says nervously, fumbling his fingers as he wished silently that Kenma would drop the topic.

“It’s the dreams again, isn’t it?” Kenma asked, and Kuroo’s silence confirmed his suspicions.

“Kuroo…” Kenma says his name with an expression of worry in his face.

“It’s okay Ken, you don’t have to worry about me today, it’s your special day remember?” Kuroo says as he wore a white undershirt, his back facing Kenma. He slipped the pants next, working on the zipper and button.

“Silly, that’s why I’m worrying even more. Since I know you so well.”

Kuroo bit his lips and wished Kenma wasn’t as intuitive as he is.

“Kuroo.” Kenma called out.

“Yes?”

“You do know I’m not disappearing from your life completely right? I’m just getting married, not dying.”

Kuroo’s tears started falling once more as he faced Kenma who wore a comforting smile he was accustomed to.

Kenma hopped out of the stool and walked towards Kuroo and took the suit from the hanger. Kuroo instinctively turning around to slip his arms inside, one by one.

“Kuroo, I know life has been tough on you.” Kenma starts, “All your life, you had to be strong. Not because you wanted to, but because you needed to. Cause you thought it was you against the world, and should you fall, no one would bother helping you up.”

Kenma turns Kuroo around who was silently crying, an occasional sob escaping his mouth from time to time.

He picks up the tie from that hung on the same hanger and looped it under Kuroo’s sleeves, “But you do know you’re not alone, do you?”

Kuroo nods.

Kenma starts working on the tie, his hands working seamlessly from all the ties he made for his soon to be husband, “Kuroo, I want you to know that you’re deserving of love. That you don’t need to prove the validity of your existence. That you are as valid and as deserving of both love and life like anybody else.”

“Life broke you, but it doesn’t make you any less of a good man that you are.” Kenma says as he buttons up Kuroo’s suit, patting both of his shoulders as he finished.

“Ken…” Kuroo trails off, his voice cracking from all the crying he did.

“I love you Kuroo, and there are many more people out there who love you too, like Bokuto and Akaashi.”

Kuroo laughs, his frown replaced by a smile.

“Thanks Kenma.”

“You don’t need to say thanks, you don’t owe me anything.” Kenma turns Kuroo’s face towards the mirror with one hand, “Now tell me, what do you see?”

“Myself? Swollen eyes and red as fuck nose. Damn, I look like shit.”

Kenma laughs, and gives Kuroo a pat in the back, “Yeah, you do look like shit right now. Let’s get you some makeup.” Kenma says as he makes his way to the door.

Kuroo stared at the mirror a little longer, and for the first time, he actually sees himself.

“You are worthy.” He says to the man in the mirror, which offered him no reply.


End file.
